Hey everyone!!
As you all know, I have just come back to the States after having a glorious adventure in Costa Rica, where I did my School of Worship. I'm telling you, my life has CHANGED. I wouldn't even tell you that I might act a little differently, or I might say things that I wouldn't have said before. My whole thinking process, my speech, my heart, EVERYTHING has changed....for the better, of course. There I some things that I did before that when they come to my mind now, I have to push them away for the fear of vomiting. I was a huge mess. I had nothing going for me. I didn't know what I wanted. Heck, I didn't even know who I was!! I was just wandering, knowing that God loved me, but not doing anything about it! I had the perspective that nothing I did for God was good enough, so why try? I lived selfishly, thinking that when God wanted to, He would help me out of the messes I got myself into.
During my DTS [Discipleship Training School] in 2009, I learned a lot about who God is and who I am in Christ. I learned about the Bible and having intimacy with God. I learned how to live in community and share everything I had. I learned how to talk to to people and how to act with people who didn't know of the love of Jesus. But, to tell you the truth, I learned, but I didn't change. I took a lot of things into the mind, but hardly any of it went to my heart. It could have, but for some reason, I didn't allow it to.
So, a year and a half went by. I still did missions. I still talked to people about Jesus. I went to Haiti, then back to Panama for a while. But I was lost! I didn't know what God wanted. I didn't know what my next step was. But I knew that Panama wasn't the place for me. There's so much evil where I lived that I got suckered in a lot, whether it was alcohol, or boys, or smoking, everything affected me. So I guess here I could say, after my DTS, I was changed for the worse. I was doing it all well in my little bubble of YWAM [Youth With A Mission] but as soon as it popped, so did I.
So, going back to my DTS, I received a word about going to Chile. I also received a word, well, to be exact, 7 words, about doing the School of Worship. So my thinking was, "God wants me to go to Chile and do the School of Worship." But, alas, there was no School of Worship in Chile. However, there was one in Costa Rica, where I did my DTS! And so, I completed my SOW from January through the beginning of April [we weren't able to the outreach] and let me tell you, the SOW literally went from my mind to my heart in every way!! God worked inside of me so much. Apart from writing songs and making a journal and leading worship, my time with God increased and my attitude for life did a 180! I see people as valuable and not as things that we can just either blow off or run away from. Material objects don't have my focus anymore. If something breaks, it can be fixed. If something is stolen, then that person needed it more than I. I choose to forgive rather than be offended. Unforgiveness in your heart is one of the most dealiest spirits a person can have. It's like a huge load that you have to lug around with you everywhere and it gets tiring. I've learned to let go, and that I have!! My life is not mine, it belongs to the one who paid for it!! Jesus is the reason I live and I want the world to know the same love that He has shown me, He has for them too!!! Because people matter!!
So basically, sorry this is so long. If you didn't read the whole thing, i don't blame you, but know this. God loves you in every way, for who you are REALLY. You can't hide anything from God. He already knows. What is the biggest thing in your life that is keeping you from this truth?? Get it away from you!! Flee from it. God is more important and He loves you.
My next step, in case you are wondering, is to go to Pichimelu, Chile and staff the new School of Worship there. Remember when I got those words? Yep. It's happening the 26th of September. The School of Worship is finally being brought to Chile!! And I'm pretty excited about it!! Please join me in praying for this school and for the students and other staff participating. Lives are going to change. When you find the presence of God, you change. You can't be the same. So please keep this in your prayers, that God would be revealed in a thousand different ways to many people, because people matter. God tells us to GO. That's what I'm doing. And I would encourage you to do it as well :)
Also, I will be needing approx. $5,000. I am working at Chipotle, so I'm going to guess that I will earn maybe half of that, and I am looking for other jobs as well. But if you feel in your heart to help me go, please let me know. Please, please, please. The plane ticket alone is around $1,800.
Bless you all!! And thank you to those who have been keeping me in your mind and prayers!!! You are the ones who have helped me to change!! I owe you much, and I know that God is very pleased with you as well. He has a special reward for you, because he loves cheerful givers.
"And because of His great love we are not consumed, for His compassion never fails." ~Lamentations 3:22
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