As of late...

"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13


I have been here at the YWAM base in Panama City for 3 weeks now. I am working as an assistant teacher for kindergarten, second, third, and fourth grade at a school that YWAM Panama has founded. I love working with the kids and it's awesome practice as well because I want to be an ESL teacher someday, God willing. I have been here since October 2 and plan to leave at the end of the school year, December 10. My parents are on an outreach in Europe right now with our first DTS team of 11 students. They will also come back in December. I miss my family a lot. It seems like I'm alone, though I know I have God with me, as well as these wonderful people in YWAM Panama. I have not seen my brothers and sisters since February.

Anyways, after I return to Bocas del Toro in December, I will be there for about 3 weeks, and then I will go on to San Jose, Costa Rica for the School of Worship. I am so excited about what God will teach me there!!! My guitar playing has gotten better, though I only have about a year playing, and I have written some songs. I know I will grow so much there.

Lately I have been struggling with happiness. I know I have a joy unspeakable, but for some reason, it's been hidden. I can't figure out what to do in order to allow it to surface. I admit I should be spending more time with God. I pray as often as I can. I'm always around other Christians that lift me up. I go to church. I LOVE the Lord. It just feels like there's something missing. I feel weary almost, but I love what I do.
I don't know. I turned 20 on the October 20th, and I feel like I'm a million years old. Like my time is running out somehow. I can't explain it.

Anyways. I guess my prayer requests would be that you would pray that I could rest in the Lord and find my joy in Him again. Also that I would be more open and focused on what He has to say to me, that He would ready me for my School of Worship in January. And that I would have faith he can provide. I need $2,000 for the school.
PRAY FOR HAITI AS WELL. THEY HAVE A SICKNESS FROM BAD WATER.

Thank you to all that have been praying for me and supporting me at this time. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.
God bless you.
Reanna

"Give me this water so that I will not thirst and have to draw water..."

In my life I have heard many teachings about the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4:1-25. Every time I hear or read this story, I always seem to learn the same thing. God is love, the woman lived in sin, she was shamed, and Jesus brought her truth. But about a month ago I heard a man talking about it and it struck me in a different way. This story is about a woman who had had five husbands, and when she met Jesus she was currently living with another man that was not her husband. She had so much pain in her heart and so much desperation in her spirit that even if she didn’t want another man, she couldn’t have stopped herself from looking for one. She was obsessed, which lead towards rituals, or actions, which then lead her to fall into sin. After each time she fell, she would feel guilt, or shame, and then she would start the whole process over again, leading to a life of sin. The cycle would end with a big void in her heart, and when she met Jesus, that void was filled with a love bigger than she could imagine.

I used to be like this woman. As many of you know, my life went from bad to worse when I got was in a terrible relationship and then wound up pregnant at 17, even though, at the end of it all, a huge blessing came out of it. I was putting everything I had into guys and how they made me feel. I would start with one relationship, enjoy it while it lasted, break up, and then search for a new man, and another, and another. I was hurt and I didn’t have any room for Jesus in the life I was living.

The sad part of my story is that I didn’t realize what a horrifying cycle I was in until I screwed up. It wasn’t because God had convicted me or because I wasn’t in love. I knew in my heart that what I was doing was wrong, I knew God wanted better for me, I knew I needed to change, but I didn’t want to listen and leave the life I was used to. Life is so easy when we are comfortable. It’s so nice to be able to do things the way that we think is best, but in the end, it kicks you in the butt.

When I was in the States in 2009, I gave birth to a beautiful little blessing, who was then adopted within my family, and I got involved in a church and began to really seek what it was that God wanted for my life. I met new friends that prayed with me, my family was a huge help to me, and my church allowed me to grow and learn things I never totally understood before. I was called to do my DTS (Discipleship Training School) with Youth With A Mission in July, 2009. While I was there, God worked in my heart big time. I started surrendering myself to Him, and He began blessing me. I love to sing and I play some guitar, and while I was there I realized that I have a passion for worship. I was given the chance to do my School of Worship last January, 2010, but it ended up being postponed until this January, 2011. I have decided to take a step forward in faith and I believe God has much planned for me as I do my School of Worship in San Jose, Costa Rica (where I also did my DTS). During this time I will learn what true worship is, in spirit and in truth. I will learn to write my own songs to the Lord and improve my singing/guitar skills. But more than anything I will seek a deeper relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ. I will be sharing my faith with many people with Costa Rica during ministry times and throughout my stay there was well.

Our deepest desire is to know God and to have a love greater than all the love on this earth, or at least it should be. And our response to the relationship we have with our Father is worship.

Please pray for me – that is what I need the most.

Financial support is also needed, the school cost is around $2,000.

Do as God leads you to do.

I would like to thank all of those who have helped me grow and learn in the past. God bless you for what you have done for me and for God’s kingdom, because He used your prayers and money through me in Costa Rica.

“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” – John 4:23-24

Jesus Talks With A Samaritan Woman

When Jesus left Judea and went back into Galilee, he had to pass through Samaria; and he came to a city of Samaria called Sychar, near the piece of ground that Jacob gave his son Joseph. Now Jacob's well was there. Jesus, therefore, being wearied by the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon and a woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, "Give me a drink." (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, "How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me who am a Samaritan?" for the Jews have nothing to do with Samaritans.

Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is who says to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."

The woman said to him, "Sir, you have nothing with which to draw and the well is deep; where then do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob who gave us the well and himself drank from it, together with his children and his cattle?"

Jesus answered her, "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give shall never thirst. The water that I give him will become in him a well of water springing up into eternal life."

The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst again nor have to come here to draw."

Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, then come back here."

The woman answered, "I have no husband."

Jesus said to her, "You are right in saying, 'I have no husband,' for you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband; in saying that, you spoke the truth."

The woman said to him, "Sir, I see that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and you Jews say that Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship."

Jesus said to her, "Woman, believe me, the time will come when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor at Jerusalem. The time is coming, yes, has already come, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth; for such worshipers the Father seeks. God is a spirit, and they who worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth."

The woman said to him, "I know that the Messiah (which means Christ) is coming. When he comes he will explain all things to us."

Jesus said to her, "I who am talking to you am he."

What Happened to Reanna??

Hey guys!! I know it´s been a while since I´ve written. A bunch of things have happened since the last time I wrote.

I moved to the main island of Bocas, Isla Colon, to work for money. I had four jobs and I lived on my own for about 5 months. I am moving towards the goal of going to college next year in Panama City, though I´m not sure which college I would like to go to. I want to be an English teacher.

For now though, I will be going to Costa Rica where I did my DTS for the 50th celebration of YWAM! I am really looking forward to seeing my old leaders and friends. It will be a great time of reunion and fellowship for sure.
After this I have decided to help with the DTS that will be in Bocas as well as Panama City. My parents are helping to lead it, and I will be helping them with the base.

That´s all I have time for right now, but I wanted to let all of you know that I am well, though I was sick a lot this past month, and that God has great things in store for my future. I´m sure of it!!!

He also has great things for you, if you let him!
Love you guys!!

Philippians 2

Thinking Ahead...

So, I have been thinking a lot lately about my life, and I have found that I really need to have some goals so that I can continue to move forward in life. I have never really had a job, except for the three months that I worked at Subway, so I'm not really sure what I'm good at. I've only really been in the mission field and working for God, which is good, but I really want to do something that I like to do while at the same time glorify God with it.

So as of now, these are the goals I would like to accomplish this year:

1. I am currently volunteering at 2 local schools close to my home here in Panama. I am teaching English from first to sixth grade. I enjoy it, but the kids are shy which makes it difficult at times. My goal here is to learn to teach in a way that the kids actually remember enough English so that it can help them to get jobs in the future. I want to teach them enough that can have small conversations with English speakers by the end of the year. It's going to take a LOT of work, but I know God is on my side and He will help me to teach them in way that they can understand.

2. We will be having our first DTS in July. The first month and a half will be held at the YWAM base in Panama City, while the last month and a half will be hosted here in Bocas del Toro, at my house :) I will be volunteering as DTS staff, which is new for me. I recently graduated from my DTS in San Jose, Costa Rica last November, and this new position is exciting for me. I will be working with the students, helping them along as their relationship with God grows. My goal here is to raise the money I need in order to become staff for this DTS.

3. After the DTS is done in November, I had the option of doing a School of Worship in Costa Rica in January. However, after much thought and prayer, I really feel lead to go to college and get a degree in teaching English as a second language. This way, after I get my degree I can go anywhere in the world and help young and old people learn English and they will be able to get better jobs. English is used world-wide and I have found here in Panama that people are more likely to be hired if they are bilingual. So my goal here would be to get everything I need in order to get accepted into a college here in Panama.

4. I would also like to learn more guitar. :)

These are my goals. I ask that you would please consider praying for me during these transitions for me as well as for my parents. They will be joining the staff for the new DTS as well.

Also, I really need to raise support during this time, so if you feel at all lead to help me out, please email me at rebeanna@gmail.com or you can message me on facebook!

:) Thanks. God bless you all!

New Stuff. :)

Hey all!
God be with you!

I just wanted to write and tell everyone what's up out here in Panama!
At the moment I am in Panama City with my parents. We are meeting with the Youth With A Mission base leaders here because we want to have a Discipleship Training School at our house in Bocas del Toro in July! Half of the first three months of lecture will be in Panama City, and the other half will be in Bocas del Toro. This is very exciting for us because we have never had a school at our base before! Having this school will get things moving along with our base. I will also be joining the DTS staff, meaning I will be helping with the students as they work through the school. I've never done this, and I am very excited for it.

I am also volunteering at 2 schools and both sides of my house. I am teaching English to the students everyday, 3 days at one school, 2 days at the other. I am really looking into being a teacher in the future, so this is going to be great practice for me. I am praying that God can use me to show love to these children. I will be teaching grades 1-6. It is a year-long commitment so I will keep at it until school lets out in December, and then I am hoping to go to college to get a teaching degree. However, I still want to do the School of Worship in Costa Rica that has been postponed twice this year. I am playing guitar as much as possible, I believe it keeps me sane haha. I play for church services at times and just when I want to be with God. But I want to grow in worship as well.

Please pray for direction as I look for opportunities to serve and be a part of our lovely community. I want to build more relationships with the Indigenous people on our island.
Also pray for the relationship between me and my parents, as we are always together, and sometimes stress builds because it's hard to get away.
I also need to raise more support during this time to pay for staff fees and to buy a canoe to go to and from the schools everyday. At the moment I am borrowing my neighbor's 15-foot canoe, and it's a little hard to row because it's so big.
Please pray about partnering with me during this new season of changes in my life. I believe God is going to do something huge in our area.
Thanks everyone!
Please let me know how you're all doing!
Love you guys!
Reanna Kapsar

What does Easter mean to you?

Easter… everyone has different traditions, different beliefs, for what makes Easter, Easter. For me, Easter means eating a nice, late brunch with the family, finding my gift basket, looking for boiled eggs, Easter-egg hunts…but what good is all of that if I don't know the true meaning of Easter? It's all meaningless! Easter should be a day of remembering what Christ did for us! It's the most important thing that has ever happened! Without that one event, we would all be lost. Without the love that God has given us, there would be no hope. God doesn't need us! God didn't have to give his ONLY son to die for US!! We should be giving ourselves to HIM!! He made Himself a living sacrifice for pieces of dust. We don't deserve anything that He has given us. But He gives with love and mercy. There is nothing, NOTHING, in this world that is greater than that which our savior has graciously given to us.

And so, I ask myself, why would God, who made all of creation, the air that we breathe, why would He want to save sinners like us? He loves us more than we could ever know, and we don't give Him enough credit. We say things like, "If God loves us then why did Haiti have this horrible earthquake and kill all of those innocent people?" or "If God loves us then why are there poor people?" or "If God really loves us then how come He doesn't give me what I want?"

God doesn't make bad things happen. However, He also doesn't stop them from happening. If everything in the world was good and everyone had what they wanted, why would we need God? He longs to be close to us. I have heard that some of the best times in a parent's life is when their child has cried out to them for help. It builds their relationship and they become close in that moment. That's the same thing that God wants from us! He wants us to call out to Him for help!! It says so in Jeremiah 33:3. Also, God DOES give us what we want, in the end. Every human on earth wants salvation. We were made with a longing for something greater than what we can grasp. God gives us that. Sometimes we try to fill our gaps with sex or alcohol or drugs, but we all know that we can't be satisfied! This world does not even begin to fill our satisfaction when we compare our lives now to our life in Heaven. This life is like a blink! We waste so much time trying to fight God and fighting ourselves that we completely MISS the point of our existence!! Why do we exist? What is our purpose? God designed us all differently, but we all have the same purpose: to glorify God! What greater purpose is there? And it's totally free! All we have to do is say "yes" and God helps us to overcome ourselves! It's a difficult road, but it's well worth it when you're in Heaven, receiving rewards for working for God on earth. I can't even imagine the things that martyrs receive. I envy them. Not because of their rewards, but for their courage. Can you imagine actually dying just because you believe in a god that others disagree with? It makes me feel too comfortable in my own environment. I feel like I should more…out there. Even though I'm here in Panama, it doesn't seem like I'm doing enough to proclaim the name of Jesus. In the Bible it says something about how when people accept you for who you are, you aren't living a real Christian life, that you most people will NOT like you because of your faith. I haven't had anyone hate me for love Jesus, and I'm ashamed of that.

Anyways… happy Easter everyone J Don't forget to thank Jesus for what He did for you, even though He didn't have to. Love you all. Be blessed.

P.S. I love Bocas del Toro sunsets :)

Haiti and happenings :)

Hey guys! Just trying out my new blog...

I suppose I'll write about Haiti.

Haiti was an incredible experience in so many ways… I will never forget the things I saw and learned there. God worked on my heart for His people and he also worked in my life personally. I realized how much God actually cares for us. I mean, I always knew that He loved us and that He’s always been by our sides, but he truly yearns for us, for our hearts. He wants the absolute best for us, and He even gives it to us, although sometimes we don’t realize it. There is a constant battle going on. Going to Haiti was one of the hardest things I have ever done, physically and emotionally, and I was afraid of the things I might see while I was there. God protected me more than I could know. There had been a virus going around of diarrhea and vomiting that lasted a few days. I never got it, and I thank God for that. Then there were the Haitians that were constantly against us. They would come in the middle of the night and bang on the walls or tear our signs down or throw rocks at the base. They would start yelling and cursing at us as we did prayer walks around the city, but it never stopped us. I would be a liar if I didn’t say I was afraid, but I always knew that God had a plan. Haiti has left a big mark on my heart.

I actually saw God’s love for each of us. He doesn’t want us to be destroyed and defeated. He wants us to be how he originally made us --- full of joy and faith, overwhelmed with love from our father.

I can only imagine the struggles and pain the Haitian people are going through, especially after this terrible attack that has taken so many lives. The earthquake did so much damage, but I believe that the new foundation being laid is the base of God. He is working so much in the people there. There is no doubt that God is truly doing something incredible.

If I was to type out everything that happened on this journey, I would be typing for hours. But to sum it all up, don’t ever doubt that God can use you. I went with the discouragement of others who said a little something like this…

Them: “Reanna, how old are you?”

Me: “19.”

Them: “What the heck are you going to be able to do in Haiti? You don’t have any medical experience and they don’t need extra bodies there just standing in the way. They need people that can actually help.”

Me: “I am going because I believe that God wants me to. I don’t know what He has for me there, but if He wants me to go, I will go.”

Them: “God isn’t really calling you to go. You just want to go because you’re looking for attention.”

Me: “I don’t know anyone who would go to a dangerous disaster area because they were looking for attention. Honestly, I’m terrified to go all the way by myself, and I am young, and I don’t have any experience, but I do have one thing that most people there don’t: Hope. I can be used as a tool to show love, just by being there. I don’t know what God has for me there, but I am trusting that He is taking care of me.”

And God did use me!! I was able to share my testimony multiple times with victims, patients in the clinics, people on the street. I built relationships with kids, help to construct clinics, gave out food and clothes, made I.D. cards that the victims could use to get the food and clothes and shelter and jobs in the future. God used ME. And He can use you too. All you have to do is surrender yourself to Him and trust. God always has a plan. It’s your choice to follow it or not.

Thanks to everyone who helped make this journey possible. You will be blessed. Follow your dreams. God gave them to you. Never doubt. And for those that think they are too young to do anything, 1 Timothy 4:12. God used Joseph, David, and Daniel. God used a prostitute! He can do anything.

My life as of now is a little unsure…I am back in Panama with my parents and the opportunity to teach English at two of the Indigenous schools close by has come up. They want a full-time teacher, so in order to do it I would need to stay in Panama all year. It is very exciting to me, as I was helping the school before by teaching English, but it more of an on-and-off kind of thing. I don’t think the children really learned much. But now if I choose to do it all year everyday, I’m sure they will have gotten something out of my teachings by the end. J I also want to go back to Haiti in the future, God-willing. It would be awesome to go back and see the many changes I keep hearing about.

So, teaching is my only plan as of now. Please keep me in your prayers as I seek God’s direction as to which way he would have me go…teaching or Haiti?

We are going to try and do a DTS in January, 2011. If you are at all interested, please comment or email me [rebeanna@gmail.com] or look me up on facebook! We need staff, leaders, DTSers of course, volunteers, money, anything and everything. Please pray about it!

Thanks everyone!! Blessings to all of you!